here i go again

I should be sleeping right now. Its 330 am, I just fell asleep at 130. Cant sleep. Too Much on my mind. today is my last official day of work. In 20 measley hours I get in my car and never look back. No more NC for me. Home sweet home I come.

I packed all my stuff and 99% of it is sitting in my car. I used my comforter as a towel after my shower. This is deep.

Random Pic for you. I dont have to do this anymore!



time to face everything i ran away from 3 years ago. time to face everything i've pushed away. time to face life. time to Live life. Peace

nyc

Well I thought I would add some nonsense so everytime I looked at this, I would't see the same depressing post. Anyway, this past weekend was a 3 day holiday for us so I decided to go with my buddy to Jersey. We decided to hit up New York City while we were that. That was a site to see. I got to see Times Square, Grand Central, Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, the UN building, Empire State Building, and more. The most touching part was when we went to go see ground zero; where the World Trade Center towers used to be. It was surreal. Just walking around, I couldn't imagine what it would have been like to have been there and experienced the horrors that happened that. Since we were military, they opened up this little gate for us that had a memorial set up and a slightly better view. IT blew my mind. It's been almost 4 years... It was definately an eye opener and a good experience. Reminded me of what I was doing was not in vain.


one more week today...

So lately I've been listening to lots of different music and this particular line stuck out to me

"Have you ever felt this way before? 'cause I don't wanna hide here anymore. Take me to place where nothing's wrong and thanks for coming, shut the door...

And now I'm calling out to you, this is a call; this is a call out, 'Cause everytime I fall down, I reach out to you, and I'm losing all control now, and my hazard signs are all out, I'm asking you, to show me what this life is all about.

Show me what this life is all about
Show me what this life is all about"


It all became more real to me this past weekend. A soldier died this weekend. A soldier who didn't have to die. A soldier who was in my company. A solider I worked along side with for many months. A husband, a father, a leader, a solider. A soldier did who didn't have to. A soldier committed suicide... The third suicide in the past 3 months, the 4th death of someone I knew. He was once again the last person you'd suspect... I hate this. "Show me what this life is all about" Times like these I can't seem to find any hope. I just don't know what to do anymore. Show me what this life is all about, just show me, please.

"Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rest,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends"